I awoke this morning to the feeling of possession. It is a new feeling to me; to give my life into my Master’s keep. I tried the 24/7 D/s at home and it didn’t work, but now my new Master, who lives away from me seems closer than ever.
I struggle with the idea of will He really be there for me as His slave? Slave…there is a word. Always thought of my myself as a sub only, never a slave. Master has changed that feeling within me. I crave for Master. He has invaded all of my dark areas and filled the ones that were empty.
I am understanding that He is there with each day that passes. Master reminds me all the time that girl is His. I am losing the feeling of emptiness and feeling complete with each new day of O/our relationship.
Each task that I do in the day is now centered around Master. When I shower, I center on the idea that a cloth or sponge can only touch me; my flesh. When I eat, I eat only half of what others can eat. When I desire something, I have to ask for it, rather than just taking it. This is a different way of thinking for such an independent professional such as myself. It is very humiliating and humbling at the same time. I crave it.