Two Masters per se is just as nice as having one. Each brings their own unique talents and philosophies to the union. I enjoy having two. I live with the primary Master and he definitely runs my life. Then with Sir, my other Master, he is a wonderful addition to my life. He helps me with my health and well being. Both are Sadists; man did I choose well. One likes to inflict pain, and the other loves to inflict sensual pain with a lot of frustration through touch. It can be an over whelming journey with both.

My health has hit a bump. As it always is, when I start to exercise and eat right, I get sick. I believe it is a curse. It has created me to be scared and depressed that I will never lose the weight I want to lose. I have dreams of getting my weight back down, so I can get my treat of piercings and start some specific impact training. So anyway, I am sick. Came home early from work yesterday for one doctor appointment and when Master saw me he ordered for me to stop that appointment and joined me at the doctor for my sinus infection. I looked like a drug addict hit by Mack the truck.

So my fear keeps me from believing I can lose this weight. I will self-sabotage my gain, and eat something stupid, or stop eating altogether. I have started to run again. That will be another area I will neglect. image

This time, I have Sir. He is learning my fears. He keeps my meals small and healthy. I tend to not eat when I am sick, but he is making sure I eat. He has been an answered prayer for me. Now, I have to get over the idea he will leave me. I have been down this road with a Dom in training committing to me, to packing up and leaving when another sub grumbled or whined. This is a constant whisper in my head. Sir has not given me a reason to feel this way, but my mind is playing with me. I have a very sadistic section of my mind I guess.  We will see how it plays out over the days to come. Still, he is wonderful, and he is compatible with my Master.

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