I have a tendency to be needy. I know…slaves should be independent and know their place while feeling confident that they are loved and needed. Well, I don’t play that ideal very well. I am needy and cannot feel stagnant.

Each day I have my protocols and expectations. I do each of them and try to deal with my busy schedule at work and at home at night. This at times can be too much, but I do it to please Master.

Sir J is working to get my diet stabilized and he is doing a great job with my mood swings from having my diet changed.

Here lays the problem. My attention has to be focused on meeting my goals and being needed throughout the day and evening. Lately, both Doms seem a little preoccupied with other things and I get the feeling of being in an idle position. My mind will wander, I will get depressed, and then I will shut down. I have been this way for a few years and it scares me when it happens. Part of this problem is not having a drive to do anything either, so it is a double edge sword of negativity for me. So what am I to do when both Doms are busy and don’t need me. I am not sure.

Plus, Sir J is moving and will be near his no. 1 submissive. This tends to bother me some as well. I have had a few  bad experiences with this and I am very nervous that he will become even more busy and I will be placed aside and eventually forgotten. How can I be so demanded of at my job and so not needed or feel as not needed in my own home?

 

Advertisements